A couple of months ago, my immediate superior at the office reprimanded my work and referred to the whole thing as me not using my brains, all the while pointing towards her head. She even said she didn't know whether to laugh or to cry at my schedule. Now, this is not the first time it has happened. This would be the third maybe fourth time. I'm thinking she's on a roll here. Where or what is the boundary set at in respect to the way you talk to someone not only in the workplace but even between friends, cousins or siblings?
The incident at the office left me angry. How dare she talk to me in that manner! And it wasn't even remotely discreet. She made it as loud as possible. What was she trying to prove? Excuse the pun, but my job was only scheduling, which meant planning some sort of strategy on the content of my channels. Not difficult. Easy. Piece of cake. But she always took her job too seriously, thus reprimanding me and a fellow colleague (who is pregnant...) on our scheduling patterns. I mean, i consider myself to be reasonably open to criticisms. I say reasonably because I'm reasonable. I can take criticisms to a certain extend. I'd say my threshold to pain has tripled the past years due to the emotional and the psychological pain endured. And I'm only human.
But being a doormat. I smiled and walked away, chastising myself for not being able to speak up. I can never do it. Then when the moment has passed, i get angry with myself for letting people get away with how they treat me and talk to me.
In our conservative Asian culture, we were brought up never to talk back to our elders. But i have to say respect has a lot to do with how we react. If the boundaries are pushed over and over again. If our elders speak to us with disrespect, then we really must speak up or forever hold our tongues and suffer internally. Respect is earned not handed over on a silver platter. As much as our culture literally prohibits us to be disrespectful, it is pretty much lopsided in terms how they judge based pn age. Younger people are not allowed to be rude but older people can and when someone younger is rude, they are labeled as many things.
Then again what about younger people being rude to their elders? Sometimes it can be quite a dilemma, especially when people you love, admire or respect are rude and totally disregards your feelings.
In conclusion as i grow older and want to do so gracefully, i imagine myself to transforming into a flying carpet. Doormats are so yesterday. Flying carpet is the new age doormat. I may still not be able to tell people off all the time but i will try at least. See the thing is i get stupefied when something is thrown directly on my face. I'm not for one to immediately jump in fits of rage. But i must do it for my own sake. Otherwise what's to become of me, my integrity and what i believe in.
As much as i might want to fly off the handle, i believe in this saying. "A smart person knows what to say all the time, but a wise person knows when not to say it". Yes. The flying carpet syndrome by farah nazneen. See sometimes its not about standing up for yourself. Its about being more mature. See when you say something mean to someone, at that particular moment, all is lost. The respect given to you is taken away drastically. The person then treats you just as how you treated them. So, you want respect, give it first.
The incident at the office left me angry. How dare she talk to me in that manner! And it wasn't even remotely discreet. She made it as loud as possible. What was she trying to prove? Excuse the pun, but my job was only scheduling, which meant planning some sort of strategy on the content of my channels. Not difficult. Easy. Piece of cake. But she always took her job too seriously, thus reprimanding me and a fellow colleague (who is pregnant...) on our scheduling patterns. I mean, i consider myself to be reasonably open to criticisms. I say reasonably because I'm reasonable. I can take criticisms to a certain extend. I'd say my threshold to pain has tripled the past years due to the emotional and the psychological pain endured. And I'm only human.
But being a doormat. I smiled and walked away, chastising myself for not being able to speak up. I can never do it. Then when the moment has passed, i get angry with myself for letting people get away with how they treat me and talk to me.
In our conservative Asian culture, we were brought up never to talk back to our elders. But i have to say respect has a lot to do with how we react. If the boundaries are pushed over and over again. If our elders speak to us with disrespect, then we really must speak up or forever hold our tongues and suffer internally. Respect is earned not handed over on a silver platter. As much as our culture literally prohibits us to be disrespectful, it is pretty much lopsided in terms how they judge based pn age. Younger people are not allowed to be rude but older people can and when someone younger is rude, they are labeled as many things.
Then again what about younger people being rude to their elders? Sometimes it can be quite a dilemma, especially when people you love, admire or respect are rude and totally disregards your feelings.
In conclusion as i grow older and want to do so gracefully, i imagine myself to transforming into a flying carpet. Doormats are so yesterday. Flying carpet is the new age doormat. I may still not be able to tell people off all the time but i will try at least. See the thing is i get stupefied when something is thrown directly on my face. I'm not for one to immediately jump in fits of rage. But i must do it for my own sake. Otherwise what's to become of me, my integrity and what i believe in.
As much as i might want to fly off the handle, i believe in this saying. "A smart person knows what to say all the time, but a wise person knows when not to say it". Yes. The flying carpet syndrome by farah nazneen. See sometimes its not about standing up for yourself. Its about being more mature. See when you say something mean to someone, at that particular moment, all is lost. The respect given to you is taken away drastically. The person then treats you just as how you treated them. So, you want respect, give it first.
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