Last week my parents invited some friends for dinner and i wanted to get my hair done so people wouldn't think I'm the god forsaken 31 year old daughter of Mr.my father and Mrs.my mother, who is divorced with two kids, wears revealing clothes and has very bad, messy, hair to top it all. My sister always has perfect hair.
So off i went, driving on the quiet streets of Melawati, on a super hot sunday afternoon. The late afternoon sun was a bit too sunny for my liking. A strawberry sunday would be just the thing to cool off...or a dip in the pool.
I'm digressing. That's what heat does to you, in case you didn't already know. It makes you hallucinate. So anyway, i parked my car and went in Sally's Hairdresser Shop. It was one of those olden day kinda of haircut joint where old aunties with opera like make up and penciled or tattooed brows would sit down sipping tea and gossiping noisily about how Ah Mei, Poh Yan's grand daughter, who by the way just came back from Perth, is seeing a Dato's son or how Ah Chai, Major Yap's son two lanes down, has shocked everyone by marrying inter-racially (shocking!) a year ago without telling anyone or how the three girls of Mrs. so and so came back drunk last night in revealing clothes and while laughing noisily, they accidently triggered the alarm to their house, which made an awful wailing sound, causing old Mrs boo hoo from next door to yell at them through the window, shaking her walking sick, which made the girls laugh even louder. Badly brought up girls they say with a huff. The conversations were done while they had their heads in curlers or steamers.
So in i went, my messy hair in a ponytail, wagging behind me. All of a sudden, a middle age lady whom I had never seen before, jumped in front of me. I retreated my steps a little at her sudden move. "hallo we have a special offer today. Just today only mah. You can steam your hair and then we blow for you for eighty ringgit only". I stared at her. "Oh no, i just want to wash and blow. How much would it cost?" I asked. I had been there a few times and i knew it would cost around fifteen ringgit.
"Owh, your hair ah, very long one...why don't you get a haircut oso? Got split ends mah, tsk tsk" she said, clicking her tingue and shaking her head and scruitinizing my hair closely. Ok, at this point, i was feeling slightly harrased. I looked at her, and putting on my most no-nonsense face and in my most no-nonsense voice, said pointedly, "I just want a haircut and i want to know how much it cost".
She wasn't in the least bit perturbed by my obvious irritation. "But it cost the same oni to cut, wash and blow" she insisted, staring back at me. "Yeah, but i'm in a hurry so i just need a wash and blow," I said, and finished of that tiny white lie with a little smile. At the moment, Sally, the owner walked by as asked her what's going on. So i turned to Sally and pretended Aunty wasn't there. "Hi, i just want to wash and blow my hair" my sentence was neither a statement nor was it a question. I was obviously uncomfortable at the point. She couldn't look at my face as she knew that i knew how much it'll cost. They exchanged a few words in cantonese and Aunty said, "Ok, ok, sit...". Finally! I thought as i sat on the designated hair-cutting chairs with stray hair on it's seat.
But she wasn't done yet. "So what shampoo you want to use ah? We got herbal, medicated, with hot oil treatment or the normal one. But your scalp ah, is very dry one, so i suggest you use the herbal one ah..is very goood," She stretched the word good to five seconds. "Ok, yes," I said curtly, not wanting to prolong any conversaion with her. She was irritating me.
"Good" she said, again in that stretched five seconds. The without warning, she picks up a satchet from the trolley next to her, cuts it off with a pair of scissors and poured the entire content onto my head. I was looking at her antics through the mirror. The she started massaging my hair roughly and quickly as though she was kneeding dough. I felt so harrassed!. I looked at her and said, "Can you please do it gently, you are hurting my scalp". Without even looking at me, she says, "But you in a hurry whaaat...so i do quickly for you mah, don't wan't you to be late". Was it me or did she just say that purposely to spite me? Hmm...I looked around. The other two indonesian girls were busy with someone else. I really felt like walking away and i would have if it wasnt for the fact that my hair was wet and soapy.
My mobile phone beeped and i took it. As i was replying, without warning, she says "Come, wash now". I pretended not to hear hear and continued to reply to my sms when she tugged my hair and said, "Come wash your hair or you'll be late". I looked at her from the mirror, snapped my handphone into my handbag, gave a loud, irritating sigh and stood up with a huff.
After i sat on the deck chair at the washing area and positioned myself comfortably, she turned on the shower and sprayed water on my hair, and large amounts of water started pouring on my back. "Uh, there's water dripping on my back," I said, shifting uncomfortably. "Ya lor, you never sit properly wan...I was in UK for five years ah, and this is how they wash hair there you know..." She said with pride. I was thinking yeah, in chinatown maybe. Then she asked, "What shampoo you use ah?". I really wanted her to stop talking but it seems a very farfetched notion. I took a deep breath and said, "Vidal Sassoon". Must i discuss my toilettries with her? All i want is a wash and a blow, is that too difficult to ask? God. "Owh, Johnson and Johnson ah...that one for babies...you are a big girl so must use better quality one mah...no wonder your hair very thin one" She said happily nodding her head. Like she was Agatha Christie, happy that she solved a mystery. I just looked at the ceiling, wondering when its going to end...
Finally she hastened me to get up and tied my hair in a small towel, but not before wiping my ears like i was a child of seven. "Okay, now you sit. I get three people to blow your hair because you are in a hurry".
"I'm not in that of a hurry" I said through gritted teeth, as i walked back to my seat. But she didnt hear me, or pretended not to hear me and the next thing i know, three people, including her, were blowing my hair in all directions.
I was done in a record of ten minutes. And she charged me twenty five ringgit. What the f....!! I didn't want to waste my time nor my energy there anymore. So i paid and walked out vowing never to come back. I just wanted a wash and blow for crying out loud!
But atleast my hair looked presentable during dinner and i forgot about the incident a little while later as guests arrive and complimented my sister on her hair. Oh, the irony of life....
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