Men are from Mars? Yes, they are!

Okay so remember that whole men are from Mars, Women are from Venus article i wrote a little while back? Remember the guy who wasn't ready for commitment? The guy i kinda fancy? Well, yours truly went out on a date with him last night. Hehe...

It all started (again) like this...After i left my previous company and embarked on a new exciting journey into the world of the unknown (hmm...sounds dark and twisty...it's not. Its just a whole new alien industry for me), Mr.No-Commitment hardly calls or texts. For a while it was irritating and I can't recall how many times my fingers were just itching to pick up my phone to call him. Then came the next phase where i thought, ah, to hell with him. I mean, why am i going on and on about him when I know already what he wants is really to have a relationship with no strings attached. I swore never to go out with him ever. Even if he begged on his knees i won't. So there. I'll show him. There, I was feeling better already.

Then last week i e-mailed him my new e-mail add. Still no reply. God, how irritating. But i know he's not the sort of person to simply ignore me without reason. So giving him the benefit of the doubt, i went on my usual activities...I got a text message. Yay! He has been busy. Hmm. Okayyy...Then somehow the topic of movie came up and we decided to watch a movie. Wolverine. Immediately after our date was confirmed, i called one of my girlfriends. I said, 'Guess what?! Guess who asked me out?!' I asked excitedly. My girlfriend was equally excited. 'Oh my god, who ah...' she was trying to think and came up with a string of names of all the guys i was currently either dating or yeah, well, um, dating. Hehe. When she volunteered the fifth wrong name, i got impatient and blurted out Mr.No-Commitment's name. She started laughing and said 'Oh my god, i thought someone said she's never ever going to go out with him again,' she mimicked what i said just a couple of weeks back. I just giggled innocently and promised to tell her everything when i got back from the date. Really, i felt like a 17 year old on a date rather than a matured 32 year old mother of two.

So off i went getting ready for my date on Saturday. I washed and blew my hair (but not at Aunty's place!), then i had threading done, i waxed my legs, i painted my fingernails and toenails...I was so busy getting ready. I wore my decent yet sexy top. It had to be decent because i was at my parent's place and sexy to attract Mr.No-Commitment but not over the top, I don't want to appear crude or vulgar.

So as i was driving to Mid Valley, I got a bit of stage fright. I had all this plan drawned up of how to make him hold my hands but as i got nearer, i was freaking out. What if i said something stupid? And anybody who knows me better KNOWS what I'm capable of saying or doing to make a fool out of myself. At anytime. It holds no boundaries whatsoever. Anytime, anyplace.

In panic, i called a girlfriend but she didn't pick up the call. The i called another one. She too didn't pick up my call. Then the first girlfriend called back. Thank God. I asked her what to do. Mind you, she's 26. Well, i really need help. I haven't done these things in a while. She said, whatever i do, DON'T bring my shawl. Okay. What movie are you watching? English? Tamil? If its English, it will end in one and a half hour. So sometime after the first half an hour, turn to the guy and mention something about the air-condition being cold. He will catch the drift. Trust me, she says. And i went like, Aha..and how old is your boyfriend babe? She giggles and says 27. Great. Mr.No-Commitment is 39. It probably won't work on him. He'll probably tell me to bring my shawl the next time. Nooo, it works on all men says my girlfriend swears confidently.

So with great confidence i parked my car and went in. Ready for the battle. He found me wandering, looking around me, trying to pick a landmark to write and save in my phone so i wouldn't loose my way later. He looked good. My heart did flip-flops. I chastised my betraying heart for feeling that. He said he bought the tickets and let's have dinner. So off we went, chatting and laughing till we reached the restaurant, which was packed obviously since its a Saturday night. After we sat, we ordered, the food and margaritas came...the both of us were laughing easily by then, the after effects of margaritas. Oh, what bliss...We chatted till it was five minutes to ten until i reminded him that the movie was at ten. He called for the check, paid, and off we went to the cinema.

We sat down. Me at the end. I could tell it was going to be very, very, cold. I wondered if i had been too hasty in not bringing my shawl just for the sake of getting some action for myself. No time to feel remorseful now. The commercials came on and i was giggling at each and every one of it. I can't remember now for the life of me what the commercials were all about. But it must have been funny. Really. Then the movie started and i excitedly watched it, grabbing his arms every now and then when i felt 'scared'. I was warming up.

About halfway into the show, his arms and my arms were both on the armrest of our seat, when he reached out and slowly rubbed my arms. 'Feeling cold?' he asked, looking at me. Yes, i said, nodding my head gingerly, and pretending i couldn't do anything about it now since i don't have my shawl and all. I was thanking God silently in my heart for letting him bring up the subject first. Imagine if i had to do it. 'Put you fingers here' he whispered softly as he guided my cold fingers to the folds of his arms. My mind was not on the movie now. Thank god, I've already watched it at the premiere with my girlfriends! But it was getting colder. My right hands were freezing. I said, 'It's so cold!' and held out my hands for him to touch. He touched my hands 'God your fingers are freezing!' he exclaims and takes them into his hands and started rubbing them. He was being very sweet. I sigh happily and rested my head on his shoulders. Mission accomplished. Not bad.

So the movie ended, all too soon for me. I was sad when it ended. My little rendezvous ended too. So on my way home, i was thinking about the whole thing all the way. I called my girlfriend and told her he held my hands and she was laughing and laughing. I was laughing too. Yeah. That little gesture made me happy. So here's the question. Are men really from Mars? They must be. They are aliens even to themselves. They don't know what they want. Someone has to spell it out to them and then they realize it. I mean, why say something one minute and do something totally contradicting the very next minute right? They don't know what they have until they loose it. Silly creatures. And they think they are macho.

As for me, after the very long conversation i had tonight with another girlfriend. I've had this friend since i was 14. That's a damn long time. One of my dearest friends. This is what i told her. I want to be the new age woman. I want to be in charge. I want to be the one to be able to pick and choose the guy i want to go out with. I will be forward with them when I want to. I will kiss them when I want to. I am not going to give them the option of being the anointed one, the chosen one, to make decisions (or at least decisions at this stage. They can be the manly-man later), where for centuries, it has been in the male jurisdiction to make decisions. We women of the 22nd century have to start changing ourselves for our own benefits. Do what we want, do what we think is right. Go for it. By letting men be just who they are, they will never be humble and down to earth just like how we women have been made to feel in the last few hundred years.

I saw this movie on HBO. Elizabeth: The Golden ages. Queen Elizabeth was a known as a virgin queen because she never married until her death, at the age of 70. She had suitors, which included Sir Walter Raleigh, the handsome pirate who discovered the new world. She never once made herself to feel that she was the unlucky one because she wasn't married or couldn't find a husband. Instead, in her elegant demeanor, she exudes charm and grace and made herself out to be the one in power. And that she was the one who should choose, and if there was no one befitting for a women of her intelligence and manner, then she chose to be alone. She turned down all suitors. She's amazing. She called all the shots. That's who we must be like too.