Motherhood for Dummies

I seriously think there should be a publication for this. A little while ago, i had been very busy at work and felt awful for neglecting my kids. It was the pre-Chinese New Year period and there was tons of workload and i kept on leaving the office after 8pm daily. For a while, i felt awful but as routine sets in, i didn't really worry so much for coming home late. After all, the kids had their toys, Disney cd's not to mention all the children's programs on the Astro TV. Maybe if I keep on repeating this over and over again, I'll actually feel better. Yeah, who am i kidding?

Then one day when i came home i saw my kids asleep already and i felt like a terrible mom. I mean, it's not easy being a single mom. Other kids have another parent around when they work late. My kids have the live-in maid. This single issue kept playing in my mind. So i decided that I'll give them a treat on Friday. I'd come home and take them out to the local mall, Jusco, about fifteen minutes drive from my apartment. I felt better. At least i had plans for the kids drawned up that weekend.

So Friday came and i left work early, to be home early, to have a cup of coffee and get refreshed a little before i take my kids out. I told my maid to dress them up, and out they came from their room looking like the two most adorable cherubs on earth. I was so pleased. So my maid packed up their milk and change and off we went, with my kids laughing and giggling noisily as we made our way into the basement to the car. I felt like the world's greatest mom, i tell you. I made myself feel better by pretending that this was an everyday occurrence.

Once we got there, i put my son, the cheekiest and the world's most inquisitive child I've ever known, into the stroller and buckled him up. He yelled in protest but settled down after realizing he was getting nowhere by doing so. I dislike children holding tantrums. In public is even worse. So i held my daughters hands and with my maid pushing my son in the stroller next to me, we stepped into the elevator and down we went to the first floor. I wanted to take my kids to MPH Bookstore. My children love books. And they had a variety of books for kids.

So there i was choosing books for my children. My daughter was pointing out the books she wanted. All on Barbie's, ponies, fairies. My son wanted books on dinosaurs, trains and cars, and god forbid, put his stubby little fingers on a children's masak-masak set. My son loves those things but I'm getting a teeny bit worried here. Is it okay to let him play with girls toys? There are a few theories to why he likes playing with girly toys is because, one, he doesn't have a male role model directly at home. He sees my dad only at weekends. So he does not really know the difference between the girly stuff and the boyish stuff. Two, my daughter plays with her toys all the time and my son loves to grab toys from her and claims them as his own. Then they will start squabbling and screaming. You can imagine what girly toys are right? Barbie dolls and such. God. They should teach us something. Like how to handle these issues. I have zero knowledge on this.

So back to the store. As i was busy picking out the books, whem suddenly my maid gave a cry and in a split second, my son jumped out from his stroller and bolted out of the door! My maid ran out after him. I, too let go of all the books i was holding, grabbed my daughters hands and ran out of the MPH entrance in time to see my son jumping on the escalator and my maid in tow, grabbing him by the shoulder. My son screamed in delight as he thought it was the best catching game ever. I mean, what can be more fun than jumping on the escalator in a state of euphoria and looking down through the glass right? Right. If you were three. I wanted to smack him. But the only thoughts running through my mind then was, that's it. Someone is going to kidnap my son and my maid. The area has been known for its reputation as a crime scene area with kidnapping of children and snatch thefts. CSI would have a ball game should they reach these shores. I shudder in horror at the thought.

Anyway, lo and behold, my maid came back down the return escalator, my mischevious son in tow. I thought thats it. I'll go get the books and leave the mall as soon as i can. So we went back into the store. I grabbed whatever books i could, quickly paid for it. My heart was beating wildly. It could have been worse, what just happened. My hands shook as i paid and walked out. I told my maid we were going home. So we took the lift and went to the parking area. My son, who didn't want to to be strapped in the stroller again, sprinted accross the parking bays, a avoided being hit by an on-coming car just by inches!. My heart skipped a few beats. This is not good for my health. I ran to catch my son, who seems to think its a game. I had to swallow in my embarrasement as onlookers shook their heads in disgust.

I took a deep breath and manage to put the kids and the maid in the car. When i got in i realized that i haven't paid my parking ticket. This is really not my day. I told the kids to be quiet and told my maid to hold on to them tight and I'll be back in a jiffy. I went out and stood in line of a couple of people. I was tapping my feet as the cashier was taking too long to do her job. After paying, i walked to my car and as i got nearer, my knees almost buckled. I left the engine running and now my car was nowhere to be seen! Don't panic i told myself. I walked nearer. As i got there, i could slowly see my car making its way back into the parking bay. I breathed a sigh of relief. But the three men pushing my car slowly into the parking lot wasn't amused. One of them asked me, 'Is this yours?!'. I could only nod. I could barely speak. I gulped and got into my car and closed my eyes. After a few minutes I opened it and asked my maid what happened. Apparently, my daughter knocked the car to reverse gear when she climbed from the front seat to the back seat. Luckily the car didn't knock or injure anyone. My mind was reeling from all the could have's.

I drove back in silence. I thanked God Almighty for sparing me or any ordeal worse that what just happened. But i vowed never to take my kids to any shopping mall alone again, ever. Not even when i feel guilty. I was being irresponsible just because I felt guilty. I chastised myself for putting my kids and the maid in danger. The mat sallehs in the movies makes it look so easy. Packing their kids and going to shopping malls. But i just realize that it just that. A set. It isn't real. All mothers try to care for their children as best as they can. But nothing can be done if the situation gets out of control unintentionally.

There should be a book 'Motherhood for Dummies'. I mean there are so many things we have to learn. Everday is a new day. New issues to handle. I mean, everyone told me i'd be a good mother, but I'm not so sure. People tell me, take the kids out once in a while and let them have fun. And see what happens when i do that. Some say don't give kids too much candy or chocolates else they be hyperactive on a sugar-high and others say, why are you depriving the children of treats made for them?. Some say give the kids more fruits and others say dont give too much bananas, papayas and watermelons because its cold and brings a bout of wind in their tummies. Some way don't hit your children but others say thats the only way to discipline them. Some like their kids to jump around, scream and just be themselves as that's what kids do but i can't stand naughty children who jump around sofas and coffee tables, not in my own house and certainly not in someone else'. Well, I'm a dummy through and through when it comes to raising children but i hope not to go from dumb to dumber as i grow older. Some people let their kids run wild in a relative's house because they think its okay. But children needs to learn discipline and if we don't teach them the rules and guide them from an early start, they start being rude and take advantage of you as time goes by.